Act I Scene 4.     [Aunt Miranda, Princess Arabella’s Fairy Godmother, has given the two crooked suitors bottles of potion to keep them from drowning; they promise to give one to Prince Christopher, the 3rd suitor.  They leave; PC, who has been  hidden in a chest,, listening, enters.]
PC -         Well, what a pair of snakes.
AM -       Oh, no, dear.  Snakes can be most affectionate.  Here’s yours – a spare, in case –
PC -         In case the bottle they give me isn’t the same as the bottle you gave them?  No flies on you, Aunt Miranda. By the way, don’t I get a wish too?
AM -       Of course, dear .  [glances at chest]  Er, whisper.  [PC whispers in her ear.  PA climbs from chest dressed as boy.]  Yes, I think we can manage that -
PC -         You’re magic, Aunt Miranda!  I must go, warn the crew we’ve got passengers –
PA -        Er, Prince Christopher!  Your royal highness!
PC -         What - where did you spring from, like a conjuror’s rabbit?
PA -        Oh, I just come up, sir. I come here quite often, sir. My name’s, er, Bill, sir. Take me with you, sir!
AM & PC -             What?
PA -        You’re going off adventuring, sir. Take me, please, sir. I’m clever, amn’t I, Lady Miranda, and I’m bored , sir, so I want to go with you,  please, sir.
PC -         Let me think. [To AM, whispers] Is that who I think it is? [AM nods] [Aloud] Should I? It could be dangerous.
AM -       Well, er, I think it would be very good for, er, Bill.
PA -        Oh, thank you, my lady. Please, sir?
PC -         All right. You can be a cabin boy.   It can be a hard life. I hope you don’t regret it.
PA -        Oh, I won’t, sir.
PC -         I hope I don’t regret it either. Well, goodbye, Aunt Miranda. I hope you know what I’m doing. We sail at dawn, Bill. 
PA -        I’ll be there, sir. Goodbye, sir, thank you.      [PC exits]      And thank you, Aunt Miranda.
AM -       Oh, you shameless hussy! Where did you find those – er - those? [Points to trousers]
PA -        In a bag in there. don’t they look great? I look a proper boy.
AM -       No, dear,  most, er, improper.
PA -        Good! I’m fed up with being prim and proper.  Fill me a bottle too, auntie.  [AM holds one out]          You knew!  Oh, you really. are magic!
AM -       I’ve got this for you too, dear. [Hangs whistle round PA’s neck] If ever you’re in danger, er, just blow it and -
PA -        You’ll come and give me 3 wishes?
AM  -      That’s a different pantomime, dear. No, you’ll be, er, all brought back here safe and sound. You, er, don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.
PA -        All right. I’m not quite crazy.  It’ll have to be something desperate, though. Just think - no more nanny, no more corsets or politeness or boredom.  I’m going to sea, and I’ll have my own adventure. I’m going to sabotage this competition. I’m going to be free!
[song - Going to be free]        [PA kisses AM and whirls off]
AM -       Goodbye, Bill, good luck! Er, I’ll tell your, er, father - oh, what a whirlwind.  Now, er, oh dear, something I’ve forgotten in all this, er, excitement, or, what can it be?  [to audience]  What have I forgotten?  Oh yes of course. [Knocks on lid of chest] Nanny! Captain! You can come out now. [Opens chest and looks in] Nanny! Captain! [Captain Birdseye rises from chest, back to audience, helps Nanny out, turns. Big lipstick kisses all over his face.  Nanny opens her umbrella, they hide behind it for a ‘kiss’.  Curtain]