SCOTIA; I'm Scotia, a maiden good.
They say a dragon lives round here.         
There's something creeping up on me!     
(Enter DRAGON, sniffs.)
DRAGON; I smell French perfume from Paree!   
SCOTIA; I'm Scotia.
DRAGON;  Bless you!
SCOTIA (terrified) ;  That's OK.             
I'm in a quiver quite titanic!                   
DRAGON; Do come for tea! This is a treat!         
(Enter ST GEORGE)
ST G; Avaunt, foul monster! Set her free!         
Clear off, before I slaughter you!
DRAGON;                                                      
SCOTIA; Oh, thank you, sir, upon my knees!      
ST G;                                                                           
SCOTIA (to audience) ;                                                             
ST G;    I am St George, a noble knight.
My heart is pure, my spirit's meek,          
I'm famed in story and in song.               
I love all creatures great and small.         
At least it is a steady job,                       
DRAGON; You want to fight? Then come on, pal!           

I'm lost in this confounded wood.
I wish I didn’t live so near!
I'd better hide behind this tree.

I see you, ma petite cherie!


It's just - I fear I've lost my way.
Don’t panic, Scotia! No, don’t panic!
You look quite good enough to cat!

Or you will answer unto me!

Oh, what a horrid thing to do!
I'm Scotia!
Bless you!
I didn't sneeze!

I clean my sword with Ultra-Brite.
My armour's Vorsprung Durch Technik.
I slaughter dragons all day long!
But this hunt is traditional!
This biffing dragons on the nob!
We'll see which of us gets the gal!